Releasing It is an Illusion, Including it is the Solution
by Krista Jarrard
We as Constellators understand the core principal of inclusion to bring about resolution, however our clients and general public do not. To them it is a foreign concept to which we may not give enough weight. Inclusion appears to be hidden in plain sight in our work and up until now not really seen as that which allows the Constellation Work to be applicable to almost any modality or resolution practice. From my perspective Inclusion is a resolution practice, a practice of evolutionary proportions.
When we stand in the shoes of our clients, and tap into the collective conscience of North America we see that the old paradigm of forgiveness, still prevails. It is the lens through which the public seeks healing or resolution.
A common example is for a client to assure me they have “released” and therefore “forgiven” their relationship with whomever, or to whatever, only to quickly discover that is not the case.
The practice of releasing and letting go of something, sounds like a good idea, but rarely does it provide enduring solutions and an end to repetitive dynamics. In my experience until we integrate, and include all aspects of an issue, the releasing is just another form of exclusion; and exclusion is the basis of most ALL of our issues. If we stop to think, where exactly does it go when it is “released”? The it is usually something that has an energetic or emotional charge, and until we transform the charge, it will pop up over and over again. Maybe not in the same way, but some way or somewhere, we know IT WILL resurface.
In a Constellation of course we can literally see it. Energy has to go somewhere, and the beauty of the Constellation circle is that it shows right before our eyes. It becomes visible. Whatever the attribute or issue is, someone will start to hold and express it. We find that solutions and healing movements come from including what presents itself. Inclusion is what the issue requires, to be seen, acknowledged, and given a place.
So if releasing is an illusion, what about forgiveness? I began to research the deep roots of forgiveness throughout history and was shocked to find the answer to its limitation in the definition of the word. Forgiveness is defined as “to give up the desire or power to punish.” It became clear to me that engaging in traditional forgiveness, engages one in the same energetic trauma field that created the act in the first place. This is what creates an energetic imbalance. Traditional forgiveness being; “I forgive you” or “Please forgive me”. Observing how this keeps one in the victim/perpetrator cycle, it easy to understand why eighty-three percent of Americans polled shared, forgiveness eluded them even with coaching, meditation and prayer. I looked at this repetition systemically and discovered a hidden allegiance. It explains why one is continually drawn to return to forgiveness even when it doesn’t work, and causes distress.
The client that experiences wonderful outcomes after a Constellation many times does not have the understanding of how, with that Constellation Work continues to be misunderstood and the practice of Inclusion not seen because the only frame of reference for the client continues to be forgiveness.
As trainers and facilitators we highlight every area of the core principles of the work, but rarely demonstrate the difference between inclusion and forgiveness. It is the act of Inclusion that discharges the energy and transforms the issue. Inclusion is the actualizing principal of the Constellation process. We understand this but our clients do not.
This understanding reveals the core of Inclusion is aligned with a unifying field that naturally brings together what had been separate. If we are on a path of conscience growth and evolution moving into a new paradigm of unity, Inclusion is the practice that paves the way to the peace and oneness we seek.
As we begin to bring inclusion to the forefront of our work we create a NEW frame of reference for our clients, and make our work more accessible.
When we experience a new relationship to inclusion versus forgiveness we receive a deep understanding of how uniquely Constellation Work is positioned to assist the current shift in consciousness beyond the antiquated paradigm of victimhood.
At the heart of this crucial awareness exists the new found ability to meet our clients and public within their frame of reference.
I look forward to presenting a workshop on this topic at the 2015 North American for Systemic Constellations in San Diego Friday Nov 13. The Radical Act of Inclusion, Moving Beyond the Limits of Forgiveness.
Krista Jarrard has been a dynamic force as facilitator, trainer and pioneer in the evolution of the Systemic Constellation work for over fourteen years. Krista brings a deep intuition and remarkable scope of wisdom to her practice with clients worldwide. With extensive training with Bert Hellinger, Heinz Stark, and Gabrielle Borken, Krista is passionate about supporting the current shift in consciousness by working with clients to transform their ener-genetic inheritance of the family linage. She has brought this multi-dimensional healing to clients around the world, and to international communities for awakening including CoreLight, and The School of Knowing in Tokyo, Japan. She is the founder of the Center for Systemic Healing, and creator of Healing at The Heart of the Matter Immersion Learning Program. Krista is currently completing her first book on Systemic Constellations “The Inclusion Solution, Moving beyond the Limits of Forgiveness ©”.